From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 6:13 AM

Water can't hurt you. Unless there's lots of it and you're a lightweight Japanese boy...

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 6:12 AM

Woman allegedly assaulted in courtroom. The best overreaction outside of the Premier League...

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 6:11 AM

The RAF don't let colourblind people pilot planes. This bloke shouldn't be allowed to do anything. Ever

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 6:10 AM

Should have checked there were no power lines in his flight path. He's probably French.

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 6:09 AM

His Dad warns him not to jump, but he does it anyway. Good lad - shame about the bruising.

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 6:06 AM

Amusement park jolly turns to full-on nightmare as ride goes mental. Whiplash. Vomit. Trauma. The whole caboodle...

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 6:05 AM

Someone should have told the farmer to let a professional deal with the blockage in his shit-spiller...

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 6:04 AM

Falling down an escalator is embarrassing. Falling up an escalator takes real skill.

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 6:03 AM

Drunk in charge of a bicycle is one thing, but too pissed to realise it hasn't got a front wheel... that's just SO Russian!

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 6:01 AM

Feline fight club.

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 6:00 AM

The crack-addled, rather distant relative of Techno Viking.

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 5:59 AM

Nothing like the fear of being eaten to liven things up.

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 5:58 AM

Classic Hicks footage.

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 5:57 AM

Endearing, in an enormously disturbing way.

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 5:56 AM

"Remember, a compost bin is a great place to store a baby when you're finished with them."

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 5:55 AM

She's hot and hosting one of those spelling shows. What does the contestant give her? An 'O'...

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 5:54 AM

Kermit the Frog reacts to an infamous internet phenomenon.

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 5:53 AM

OAP gets the 'Two Girls, One Cup' treatment. Horrified.

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 5:52 AM

Reporter does piece to camera about a very dangerous road junction. Very dangerous road junction serves up accident.

From: FHM Online on Wed, Aug 06 2008 5:51 AM

Falling asleep beside any body of water will never, ever be safe. As long as evil mates exist, at least.