From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

As a kid, Jimmy wore clothes from the Sears outlet.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

The leering pedophiles who watch every girls field hockey practice and game are "outraged" at the school’s new uniforms, which they say go against the team's proud tradition of titillating perverts.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

Relive some of the greatest moments in sports history as OSN The Magazine and their unmatched staff of alarmist, overwhelmingly white writers saw them.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

The leering pedophiles who watch every girls field hockey practice and game are "outraged" at the school’s new uniforms, which they say go against the team's proud tradition of titillating perverts.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

The Who Would You Kill boys let loose on the red carpet celebs at the OSNYs, with special guest killer Kevin Slowey of the Minnesota Twins.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

Bob Oschack is "Jerk Happy Bob."

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

High school football star Dylan Fitzpatrick was paralyzed in a freak accident on the field. Jay Woodworth and the Wish Zone team help Dylan fulfill his burning desire to hurt the boy who hurt him.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

High school football star Dylan Fitzpatrick was paralyzed in a freak accident on the field. Jay Woodworth and the Wish Zone team help Dylan fulfill his burning desire to hurt the boy who hurt him.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

Every Halloween, people look at candy corn as if they had never seen it before.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

Every Halloween, people look at candy corn as if they had never seen it before.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

Witnesses say Pierzynski climbed into the trash compactor of his own free will and police are investigating no further leads.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

Heat superstars Dwyane Wade and LeBron James are being accused of neglecting overlooked power forward Chris Bosh by leaving him in a locked car with the windows rolled up while they partied at a nightclub for hours.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

Witnesses say Pierzynski climbed into the trash compactor of his own free will and police are investigating no further leads.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:02 PM

Kathleen’s not qualified to vote.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:02 PM

Kathleen’s not qualified to vote.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:02 PM

Kathleen’s not qualified to vote.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:02 PM

The gregarious Spurs forward is making waves by claiming to have built supportive, meaningful friendships with more than 10,000 women in his NBA career.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:02 PM

Becky’s grandma refuses to drive one of those Jazzies.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:02 PM

Police apologized for thwarting the attempts on Pierzynski’s life, but told reporters it was their job and they didn't really have a choice.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:02 PM

Police apologized for thwarting the attempts on Pierzynski’s life, but told reporters it was their job and they didn't really have a choice.