From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

They’re like a group of big pigeons.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

In your 30s, you don’t have as many choices of men to date.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

In your 30s, you don’t have as many choices of men to date.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

Before basketball, giants were feared and hated. But Dr. James Naismith’s kindness saved the giants and gave the world a new sport.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

More trouble for the Connecticut head coach, who allegedly tried to guilt recruits into coming to UConn by sighing loudly and telling them how close he was to the grave.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

More trouble for the Connecticut head coach, who allegedly tried to guilt recruits into coming to UConn by sighing loudly and telling them how close he was to the grave.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

People on cruise ships are so fat they’ve given up walking.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

People on cruise ships are so fat they’ve given up walking.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

The impostor went undetected for years, collecting endorsement deals by posing as the Colts quarterback.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

Mark Shepard tries to have a nice, emotionally-empty conversation about sports with OSN’s panel of Distant Dads.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

Mark Shepard tries to have a nice, emotionally-empty conversation about sports with OSN’s panel of Distant Dads.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

It’s like construction workers have a jackhammer in their pants.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

It’s like construction workers have a jackhammer in their pants.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

Contestants have to run for their lives, steal a car in Newark and then register it at the DMV.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

While hunters were out being men, Bobcat Goldthwait would spend his day with the ladies.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

The unbearable Pierzynski is in the hospital after being shot by an enraged assailant who police say "could have been absolutely anyone who ever met this preening idiot."

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

There’s nothing more pathetic on earth than a garage sale.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

There’s nothing more pathetic on earth than a garage sale.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

There’s nothing more pathetic on earth than a garage sale.

From: Comedy Central on Thu, Jul 07 2011 8:03 PM

After decades of nothing but losing and misery, Cleveland is banning all professional sports from the city so they can’t hurt anyone anymore.