From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:45 PM

"In other news: still no update on that stolen nerve gas that drives reporters insane."

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:44 PM

That’s nothing. I used to bullseye lego guys in my T-16 back home.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:43 PM

The good news is he made $300 mowing every lawn in the neighborhood. Just kidding — he just died!

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:43 PM

He forgot to call shotgun.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:42 PM

It’s never too late to whip out your favorite joke.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:42 PM

Somehow the big, brass horns make it even sexier.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:42 PM

This marks the first time in history anyone disrespected mall security.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:40 PM

And almost half of them understandable.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:40 PM

When in doubt, go full contact.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:39 PM

What happens on Hoth, stays on Hoth.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:39 PM

That’s what he gets for exercising.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:38 PM

Pain is temporary. Internet embarrassment is forever.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:38 PM

Too many penalties to count. It’s like they're not even trying to play by the rules.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:37 PM

Hit him right in the numbers... on his nuts.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:37 PM

CollegeHumor’s first Broadway musical since (LOL)Cats.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:36 PM

This makes Google Maps Grand Theft Auto look like Google Buzz Grand Theft Auto.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:35 PM

They’re gonna do the same thing for "The Flintstones" and call it "The Honeymooners."

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:35 PM

I keep a spread gun under my bed for just such occasions.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:35 PM

Cover your children’s eyes. It's too adorable.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 4:34 PM

His dad is gonna be so pissed when he brings the car home.