From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:48 PM

Pretty good, but "my friend Steve that got kicked in the face by a horse when he was a kid" is a bit of a stretch.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:47 PM

Representatives are so boring, at least senators have a hockey team.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:46 PM

The sad part is... everything.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:45 PM

Gingers are people too. Soulless, flame retardant people.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:44 PM

They say that if a ninja fights with honor on the side of good, nothing can defeat him.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:44 PM

I think it’s pretty obvious why they took his graduation cap away.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:44 PM

They’re part of the world's cutest haunted house. It's not that scary, but watch your step.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:43 PM

ESPN needs to hire this guy immediately.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:43 PM

They’re cute now, but in a couple years they'll be a chorus of angsty teenagers singing Nirvana songs.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:41 PM

Sarah and David throw their co-workers off the scent.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:41 PM

"Sorry, kids, but I spent all the money I had for candy on the electrical bi--Hey, quit throwing eggs."

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:41 PM

"Sorry Houston, looks like you’re getting the shaft today."

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:40 PM

"Teacher says, every time an adorable cat faints a YouTube user gets fired from their job for spending too much time watching said adorable cats faint."

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:40 PM

More from the Barq Dog interview.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:39 PM

He’s just killing time playing in the NFL until The Fresh Prince: the Musical auditions.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:39 PM

This isn’t English, so I think what happened is that the game ended in a tie.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:38 PM

The real audio track to the now famous Shake Weight commercial.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:37 PM

She’s even meaner than Simon Cowell.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:35 PM

He’s probably just having a bad day. And rabies.

From: CollegeHumor on Tue, Apr 05 2011 3:35 PM

Canadian football is so weird.